Making a difference- confront don’t avoid

One area I said I was going to work on this year , and it falls under my goal to INSPIRE was to confront people and give feedback; using the strategies that I got from the workshop last year.
Interestingly, I have just read the blog by Dan Rockwell about leaders and confronting people.

4 reasons why leaders dont confront he believes are;
1. self interest- what if I upset them?
2. false compassion- so easier to avoid them than upset them- thus protecting them
3. belief that confrontation is cruel
4. concern that you won’t confront well- better to avoid than have a go!

He goes on to blog about 12 reasons why leaders should (I have copied and pasted from his blog!)

12 ways to overcome fear and confront like a master:

  1. Believe in the ability of others. Protecting people prolongs weakness.
  2. Commit to serve others and make things better. Stress decreases the more you focus on serving others and bringing value.
  3. Reflect on past successes and failures, before confrontation. What worked? What didn’t work in the past? Confront your own failures or you’ll repeat them.
  4. Define what you want, but don’t practice (over-rehearse) what you say. Too much rehearsal makes you sound fake.
  5. Expand perspective. Pain limits perspective. All you think about is the toothache. Remember the big picture.
  6. Develop alternatives and chose one. Don’t look for “the” way. Find “a” way.
  7. Agree on issues. Confrontation means bringing up issues someone hasn’t acknowledged.
  8. Respond to defensiveness by asking, “What am I missing?”
  9. Use their language. One of the most challenging things I’ve heard was a simple question that contained my own words. I mentioned something I’d like to do, but had put on the back burner. He asked, “How could you move this to the front burner?” I immediately felt responsiblity.
  10. Limit scope. “Everyone feels this way,” expands issues. “Here’s what I need from you,” narrows conversations to the immediate realm of control.
  11. Focus on what matters. Leaders who argue insignificant points stall progress. Ego needs to win all the time.
  12. Build relationships that withstand confrontation. How would you treat teammates today, if you knew confrontation was coming next month?
12 very valuable points that do make sense why to confront. I know right now I am frustrated that the goals and purpose of this term seem to be fluctuating in being delivered and so I do need to confront- did I last week. No- in only a few areas. I let the team leaders know….but didn’t deliver on all areas.
This week again, the purpose will be to confront, to feedback. After all I need to keep in mind the big picture- raising student achievement in our school. Becoming better than before and reaching our full potential!